Disclaimer: Characters herein belong to Joss Weldon and ME, (sadly that M.E., not me....) I am just playing with them without permission.

Giles, Reily,Tara and Spike

Window One:Giles

I wonder sometimes if God hates me.

As I look at the others I see fear in their eyes and I wonder what right I have to draw them into danger for me, for Dawn. Willow is angry and frightened and in her eyes I see the burning hate for Glory every time she looks at Tara. Poor sweet Tara, she wouldn't hurt a fly and look at her now, her mind stolen from her on account of Dawn.

Can I ask them to sacrifice any more for me and mine? Dawns my daughter, the monks sent her to me to protect and look what a mess I've made of it. The right thing to have done would have been to call in the council and ask for their help, the world would have been safer, these children here would have been safer. The council would never have taken the risks with the key that I did. They would have killed her first.

But how can you ask a man to kill his child? And she, Dawn, is that. I remember the day I brought her back from the hospital and her first steps and the first words she ever spoke. The monks should have destroyed her before she had form, and life and fear and a father who loves her and friends who are risking their lives.

I could hate them, sometimes, they didn't have the courage to do what needed to be done when she was a blob but they ask us, ask me, to do it now that she is real and alive. I could hate them, but then I remember the little bundle of life I carried home from the hospital and find I cant.

"Dont worry, watcher, we'll get the snotty little brat back." Spike offers me the flask, he's trying to be supportive in his own way.

For a moment I wonder if he would be here if it werent for Buffy and his desire to impress her. He seamed to like Dawn, and I had to constantly warn her about hanging around with him. He's charming when he wants to be, fascinating to a hormonal young girl like Dawn but ultimately he's a psychopath. He feels nothing but his own wants and desires, the rest is all a facade but as I meet his eye and take the flask I can almost believe he cares. Almost.

"Thanks."

"I stole it." he shrugs, "Not bad though."

"I mean for being..." I trail off and he looks uncomfortable. It's all to much for me, I'll start gushing at any moment, just like one of these bloody Americans.

His mouth qwerks, "This chip wont be in forever." He projects his big bad persona at everyone for a second or two, "Got to have a Giles watching the slayer in 20 years or so when I come calling."

The annoying self satisfied smirk gets everyones goat up but I could almost hug him as I stiffly say "Quite."

I thank him with my eyes and see acknowledgement.

"Let's roll." Buffy hefts the hammer as we enter the compound, taking our places. I want to be with her when she fights Glory but she wouldnt hear of it.

"Me slayer, you watcher, Giles." She tried to make it a joke, "You have a date on the tower with your daughter."

Its true, it's her destiny, her job, what she is. I hate myself for playing the bargaining games in the seconds before the battle begins, the little thoughts that come in our dark moments when we make deals with the universe. Buffy for Dawn. I'd make the deal and I know it, and I hate myself for knowing that I would trade the lives of every one of these people for my child.

That's why the monks sent her to me.

But in those last few moments before we begin I think of the option that none of the others put to voice. Can I trade the whole world for Dawn? Can I justify stacking one girls life against the lives of a whole planet?

I cant answer that one. It frightens me too much to know what I might answer.
Then the fighting begins.

##

They hurt us badly but we hurt them too.

Fanatic as Glorys minions might me they fell easily enough even as Buffy fought their mistress. Spike and I reach the top of the tower together, the difference is that hes hardly breathing hard while I am panting.

"DADDY!" My heart breaks as I see her tied, so near but so far. We're all dead.

"Well, well, well..." He looks like a harmless old man but even without Spike stiffening
beside me I know better. He's not the least bit frightened of us as he casually checks his pocket watch and smiles broadly. "It#s time."

Spike is faster then I, and I feel a flash of what can only be called love for the monster as he tries to put himself between my daughter and the demon. The demon is too fast, catching him fast and stabbing him with the blade. I see the fear and pain on spikes face as he is tossed casually from the top of the building.

It gives me time, the demon is just turning to finish me when I reach him, rugby tackling him in the side I almost go over the edge with him. The edge of his blade catches my face and I scream despite myself. For a moment I think I've failed as his arms flail but then he falls and I sob with relief laying on my belly as I crawl to the edge and see him hit the ground.

"Daddy!" her piercing scream alerts me as I clamber to my feet, wondering how much faster I would have been twenty years ago, or even ten.

The smile on my face locks into place as I get close to her, becoming plastic and false. He has cut her, just a scratch but it is enough. We begin to cry as I untie her, holding each other and looking at the terrible white hole in reality.

"I love you Daddy!" She tries to break free of me and I know what she wants.

"Dawn...No."

"It wants me! I have to, daddy. You have to let me do this." Her eyes search my face, actually pleading with me, "Please. It's my duty."

I feel my heart swell with pride even as it breaks and we turn together to look at the vortex. I nod slowly, knowing that there is no other way. She is crying now as she tries to break away but I hold her fast and take hold of her hand, gripping it tightly in mine.

"We'll go together." I wont let her face whatever there is to face on the other side of that light alone.

We begin to run along the ramp and as we reach the end we jump.

I am falling, and I am afraid but I keep a tight grip on her hand as the light sounds us.

Tara, Window Three
It's hard sometimes to think that she's not really my sister. Dawn, my little cricket, princess, nibblet, short stop... All the names the Scoobies called her. Its hard, god, it's so hard sometimes when I think of them and what they went through for us. That's why I need to write it down, I might hide this, probably burn it and let the ashes scatter in the mountain breeze.
I remember her when she was tiny, how she would run around the yard in her diapers trying to catch the cricket. Pa came up with the name one time when he saw her pretending to be one, and he lifted her high in the air and gave her the biggest hug you can imagine.
That's one of the few good memories I have about Pa.
Back before he got religion, in the worst possible way, he was still a very moral man. It's easier to think that he was trying to do right then hate him for all the things he did. Back before the beatings and the lectures and the cursing he was just our pa. Before he became ËœThe preacherâ„¢.
Its weird, I sopose that I must have gotten away somehow, but since I got these memories I cant imagine how. It was for cricket, I had to get her away from that. No way was I going to let her go through what I'd been through, only for her it was worse because she could never give way, never just cry and beg when the cursing started. She always pushed Pa to the belt.
One time he beat her so bad that she couldnt go to school for a week, couldnt do nothing except stand and grit her teeth at the pain. I admired her for that, she never did give in. Not like me. Only thing was, I knew that he'd kill her in the end.
So one day when pa was in town and our brothers were tending to their chores I stole the church money pa kept in his sock drawer and threw cricket into the beat up old pick up and took her away. That's what I remember, and I dont care what the truth is, or was.
It was hard at first, but once we were settled and I had a part time job things got better. I sent cricket to school, real school where they teach you men came from monkeys and women are good for more then cooking and cleaning. I even started to take classes myself, and thats how I got back into the magic, and how I met Willow.
Willow, oh it hurts so much when I think about her. She was special, she wasnt like anyone else I'd ever met. She was kind, and good, and moral, all at the same time. Willow would never have hurt me.
Willows how I got into a whole heap of things, like vampires, and demons and monsters. I'm part demon if you believe pa and the others, that's why I'm so strong with the magics. That's why they sent me my cricket, because I was strong enough to protect her and love her like she was meant to be loved.
The scoobies were with us, we'd taken down all sorts of bad things- even Spike seamed like he wanted to help. Poor Spike, he was trying so hard to be something else when he didnt know how. I think that, despite him being evil and all he really did care about cricket in his own way whatever the others said about it all being to get into Buffys pants.
BOY, did he want to do that!
I dont blame him for telling Glory about Cricket being the Key and all, the way he was looking when she'd done with him I knew that he did his best. He cried afterwards, I never told anyone about that but he cried and said he was sorry and that he hadnt been strong enough and a whole load of stuff that I never will tell anyone. He did his best, and he deserves his dignity for that.
They all cared, they all fought Glory for Dawn, and they all failed. Willow was the one who did the most damage to her, that time in the hospital, but they couldnt stop her when Glory found us. I remember the look of terror on Willows face when she bundled me and Cricket out the back way.
That was the last time I saw her.
I heard later Xander had a broken arm and Willow got her head beat pretty bad, but it was the Key Glory wanted. Rest of us didnt amount to a whole lot as far as she was concerned.
That was when I did what I should have done when I found out about the whole Key business. I took our old pick up and Cricket and me drove for three whole days and nights before I'd stop at a motel.
All that time she just sat next to me, head on my shoulder, trusting me to do the right thing. To protect her, and I did. And I always will.
Cricket speaks Spanish like a good Ëœurn now, learning to pick up local accents fast too. Shes strong too!- never seen a kid her age who could harvest melons that fast. She's smart aswell, I make her read and do Vocabulary twice a week and work on her writing too. We're up here in the mountains right now, passing though on our way to some two horse town where I can work as a waitress until we get the money to buy a new car, pick-ups getting a bit beat up these days.
It's a big country, and Cricket and me, we're going to see a whole lot of it.
Glory will never find us.

Window Four-Spike
The magic Box, all ready to go.
Bastards want to kill her.
After all these years of calling ME a monster, which (Cue smirk), I am proud to say I am, they turn out to be bigger bastards then me. It smarts, I'll tell you that. The nibblets MINE, and I wont let anyone touch her, not the Slayer, not the witch and not the Watcher. Ahh, the watcher is looking at me, he knows that I wont let it happen. I might have to kill him, chip or not chip. He knows but he's not saying anything.
We're alike, him and me, in a lot of ways only he’s got the whole world to worry about and I only have Buffy and the brat. Buffys been taking a back seat in my attentions lately, she can take care of herself and the little bad-much as she likes to think she can- needs me to keep her alive. And I will.
Whatever they try.
I can see the thought going through their heads, they want to try and get the brat out alive but if they cant... Well, I can understand. No, on second thoughts Bollocks I do.
They used to go on about taking the little bad away from me, putting her in some home or something like that. Only got past the talking stage once, never tried again.
Little bad is MINE, the only thing on this planet that gives a toss weather I'm dust of solid. I wouldnt be asking the scoobies for help otherwise. They've all wanted to take he off me for years, like I couldnt take care of a kid or something. I made her wait in the car that time I gate Crashed the parent-teacher eating at Buffys High School didnt I? On second thoughts no, I dont sopose I did what with the false memory mojo. Bollocks anyway. Why would those bloody monks send her to me, yes ME, if they didnt think I could take care of her?
I killed two slayers already, I'm better then Buffy and she knows it. Could have killed her anytime if it werent for this brain sickness called love.
Love or no love I wont let them touch the brat.
##
On the way to the party
Reds getting uptighter every time she looks at Tara. Cant say I blame her, what with Glory sucking her girls brains out. Better not have done that to Nibblet or I'll tear her eyes out and eat them one at a time. I know she got the jump on me once but we're mob handed this time... Glorys going down and the nibblets coming back home to our crypt where she belongs. If I stay angry then I wont cry, I did that a bit earlier, when Glory took Dawn and none of us could stop her.
Even Xander felt sorry for me, the bastard.
The brats got a crush on him, you know, always hanging around that house of his with that ex-demon bint of his and getting him to teach her stuff. Every girl gets it I'm told, this crush thing. Hormones or something, I put a stop to it when she started talking about getting birth control. Explained about how I could give Xander a perfect vasectomy with my fingernails, not that he'd touch her- I think anyway.
Little bads the only one whos always been there for me, funny really as I only got her to be a dolly for Dru... She must have been, what? Four? Five? I dont know, not really sure how old she is now. Dru was over the moon about it, dressed her up in miniature Dru dresses and all that malarkey. Muggins here was the one who had to keep the brat fed and watered though. Dru never was much cop when it came to looking after the pets.
I was surprised when little Dawn lasted the month, Dru always was more partial to a little one then me. After that, well Mini-Dru almost got toasted by that Judge guy Big-Dru wanted to play with and keeping that bastard angel away from her was a struggle. All through that time the nibblet was with me, always knew which side the bread was buttered she did.
When Dru got board of her, and me for that matter, dawn would come sit on my wheelchair and play cards, bring me stuff and things. She always wanted to help me hunt, but I never let her. Dont know why, just didnt seam right. When that glorious poof of a grand sire decided to blow up the world it didnt occur to him that my nibblet would be going to hell along with every one else. I didnt really think of it much either, just about getting Dru back from Angelus.
Almost dumped the kid that time, plan was to take Dru and drive off, I think Dawn knew what I was planning because she had the car all gassed up and running when I got there, her driving blocks tied to her feet.
She smirked at me as I stood there gobsmacked, unconscious Dru in my arms.
“Move your arse Spike!" She banged the horn, "We got places to go and people to kill!"
"Thats my line." As I jumped in the back she crashed the garage doors and drove off. Drives real good for a kid, does the nibblet. Told her I'd eat her if she ever put a dent in the paint and she took me at my word.
Always on at me to steal her a motorbike, speed crazy she is.
"Dont Worry Spike." Buffys cool hand on my shoulder brings me back from my memories with a start, we'll get her back." She squeezes my shoulder and I mumble something.
We™re here now, I want my flask but theres no time.
Shit, I'm actually scared.
##
Play Time
The Slayer came through for me, Red and even monkey boy. The ˜bot helped too, I can hardly wait to tell little bad she owes her arse to that thing- she hated the thing all the time I had it. Weird that, she never minded me and Dru screwing while she was around.
It's a Glorious day, no pun intended. Buffy smacked her up good, I doubt that she'll have the bottle to finish the job off. No probs, I saw the watchers eyes. We have an understanding.
Now all that's left is to save the day with a little sprint up the tower, little Reds cleared the way and I dont need telling twice.
Phew, getting a bit breathless, too many fags. I promise I'll cut down once this is over. Willows always telling me that I'm giving the little bad lung cancer through passive smoking anyway.
Oh dear.
He's here, the demon. He's waiting for me, smiling like he always does. Doc knows Dawn, friend of the family sort of thing. Never liked him, she always steered clear of his lollipops too. My nibblets smart like that, says she can smell trouble and I cant argue with her. She tried to bite Buffy first time they met, silly bint thought she was rescuing the brat.
"You dont touch her..." He knows he can kick me to match sticks, and he knows I know it too.
He's talking now, over confidence... its done me in too many times to count, maybe it'll be his downfall now. I get in close and I'm fast and hard. I hear the nibblet telling me to ˜rip his fucking throat outâ€", what does she think I'm trying to do? Dance with the ponce?
What the- the brats on him now, arm around his neck. Always had a way with ropes our Dawn. He's pissed now, even more so when she sinks her teeth into his ear and shakes her head like a dog.
"You know Spike, growing up with vamps is starting to AFFECT that kid." Buffy, whats with the quips?br>
"Bit of help would be nice, luv."
Shit, he's knifed me. That... hurts. Great, Buffys finally lending a hand. About time too, dont know what I see in the girl sometimes.
And we do it, simple as that. Off he goes, hope he lands on that overinflated ego of his.
It hurts where the knife went in but I'll live, well, you know what I mean. Dawns crying and hugging me and , Christ the poor brat must have been frightened shes even hugging Buffy. Good sign that, when the Slayer and me get together I dont want them at each others throats all the time.
Then I smell the blood, always very careful about not cutting herself, the little one. Likely how she stayed alive living around Dru and me for so long. She know whats happening and so does Buffy, their looking at each other like their doing some mind meld thing.
"Spike." Buffys looking at me, seeing what I'm going to do. She knows the fate of the whole worlds resting on my brats shoulders. Dawns nodding and saying she knows what she has to do.
Screw that! Self sacrifice my arse, I've been letting her hand around with the scoobies too long. Always knew they'ed ruin her.
"Bollocks!" they arent listening to me. Bloody women.
Buffys bending down to pick up the knife shit for brains dropped before we dropped him. I step between them and hold out my hand.
"Its my job." I tell her and Buffy nods, she hasnt got the stomach for this sort of work anyway.
The brats frightened as I take her a bit away from the slayer, and I speak soft words into her ear.
She nods and turns as I slip my arm around her throat, knife gripped firmly.
A few seconds later, all I dare wait, the chip cuts in, but by then Dawns as good as dead.
Headache lasts all week. It was a real bitch of that one.
##
Grand Imperial Hotel, Rio
God Dawn goes on and on and bloody on about it. Shes worse then bloody Dru.
Buffy never suspected a thing. She must have thought that I got the cut on my hand in the fight. Silly girl, Assume makes an ass out of me as they say. She wouldnt have let me do it, what with being the slayer and all... Tend to frown on turning people.
Funny at the funeral it was, they spent a fair bit on the spread and I got to get drunk and insult Xander for free. Hahaha, he never even talked back, hought I was grief stricken.
No, old Spike lost enough people for a good long while and when the brat Dug herself out I was waiting. Took long enough for her to do it too, I was getting worried.
Things were a bit different after, ofcose.
"Look, I said bloody well NO!" I pick up the evening paper and pretend to read while she grumbles softly over her toast.
"But Spike..." she whines.
"DAwn...."
"OK, whatever."
She'll be on about it again tomorrow night, ofcorse. It must be in the blood or something, Angel was like that, and Dru. I'm hoping she'll grow out of it after a few decades.
Who'ed have thought my brat would have such an obsession with ending the world?
"Pass the coffee, pet."

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